Ahmed Faraz poet from Pakistan and Gulzar Poet, fiction writer and film maker of India
                       


 

JHARNA RAHMAN (Bangladesh)

Jharna Rahman is a writer,poet and playwright. Besides, she writes for children. Her writing deals with the crises, difficulties, problems and potentials of our life and society. Among her publications are : Swarna Tarbari, Agnita, Krishnapakhsher Usha, Perek: all short story collections. A collection of her Poems Noshto Jotsna Nosto Roudro has also been published, and a play Briddha o Rajkumari. She is working as Assistant Professor of Bangla at Bir Shreshtha Noor Mohammad Rifles Public College. Also a regular singer on Bangladesh Betar and Bangladesh Television.

 

I Watched the Horses Galloping 

“What are you watching?”

“I watch the horses galloping.”

“What are you watching?”

“Amhi ghotokong dekkhohi.”

“What are you watching?”

* “Yashmeeshwong sposhyath.”

“What are you watching?”

* “Eshwom speshiethey.”

“What do you see?”

* “Ekkyom…”

The sea roared furiously and raised foams as innumerous white fangs against the gigantic black mountain ridges. The water demons gushed into the dark caves of the inferno howling as monstrous animals. The water demons – a herd of smoldering elephants seemed to approach from the deep wells of indigo. The trunks of the elephants appear to suck the bowels of azure. The sea swelled. The blue elephants resembling water demons ransack the sky. A sound of swift motion pierced through the darkness of the forest…

“What are you watching?”

* “Yus ekkyom spekiyethey!”

I watched the horses galloping. Clip, clop, clip, clop…The horses galloped on the pebbles through the mountains …. Clip, clop, clip, clop. The trotting of the horses echoed against the stony cracks, notched fissures and unknown fossils- clip, clop, clip, clop. They came with the sparkling of a sawing horn and threat of a hidden talon and pointed tooth of a wild beast from the dire forest- clip, clop, clip, clop. Their manes were conflagrated and set ablaze. There were countless flames and myriad tresses.

I watched the horses. The horses strutted, trotted, galloped, tossed, plunged and panted. Their manes scattered fire and they raced. I chased them and the flames followed me. I race with the inflamed manes and the burning ruddy molten rocks came after me.

I ran.

“Who are you?”

“I am running.”

“Who are you?”

“I am racing.” A horse leaped up at me through the hills. Far away I saw the neighing horses agitating the clouds.

“Who are you?”

I kept running…

They kept running until they chased the beast at the end of a cliff. The animal stood on top of a big rock on the mountain with its defiant but exhausted head, ready to attack with its sharp horns. The solid joints of its four limbs shone as the blazing rocks of the mountains. The snarling fur on its thick skin growing as the sharp blades of grass stood up in tufts. The animal’s long tongue drooped and splattered its thick saliva on the rock.

They screamed in applaud. Some of them had big stones and others had sharp stone planks with which they could easily slit the throat of the animal. The animal’s shrieking sound surpassed their ovation into the darkness of the deep forest. Another reverberation echoed in the forest at that time but they did not take notice of that. Their flung stones appeared as big smoky clouds in the sky that stormed down vertical on the animal. They rejoiced in happiness dragging the corpse out of the gorge as the animal is forced to jump off the steeps. They dropped their stone shields with humming approbations and put to rout the carcass of the animal.

The moon rose in the sky. The silvery rays like bright white stone blades penetrated through the dark bough of the trees and perforated the hard red soil scorched. They danced along the moonlight rays with lumps of flesh in their hand. They smelt the meat with their wide nostrils. It smelt of wild fresh blood. Their dazzling eyes beneath the bushy eye-brows danced in happiness. Sometime they stooped their back or rejoiced with uplifted arms. Other times they restlessly swung all along the branches of trees. Another scream was heard from the darkness of the forest. This time they heard the shrieking sound.

It was I who yelled for help from the bleak jungle. I didn’t find any gorge to escape. I was hiding myself behind a big rock and supporting my body in it. The lower part of my body was getting heavier every day. I could no longer be with my clan to chase big wild beasts from caves or the jungle. Neither could I throw stones at them or pierce sharp spear made from branches and drag their carcasses into the open spaces. I began to be worried about myself. My body grew so large that I looked visible different from them. I always tried to hide myself from them because if they noticed my they would stone me to death. They chased anyone they saw resembled me and tear their lower part of their body with their sharp nails. They used to previously crunch upon the little soft creatures, like them or us that came out from our swollen lower portion. Now they drifted them away in the ocean that attracted the fishes to the shore and they caught those fish with spears made of stone.

But I knew if I could hide myself long enough the little soft creature growing inside me can burst open. I felt its movement inside me. My body became so heavy that it was difficult to bend my neck and walk on my hind legs. I had to crawl to move and the lumps on my chest almost touched the ground. They grew as heavy as stones. My hard swollen dropping tits collided on the blocks of stone. They throbbed in pain. I tied them to my body with leaves and vines and I also covered the enlarged lower portion of my body. That reduced my pain a bit. If they saw me they would tear open my bindings. One day their whole group pulled and twisted at my nipples and examined them. They were oozing forth some kind of sap. Some of them sucked at them with their thick lips. It was as if they swallowed my whole breast. I was so sacred that they tried to eat me raw. I took of my vine bindings. I kept running and they chased me with their stone weapons. They threw stones at me making clattering sounds. Some beasts with horns dashed across me. They clipped, clopped, clipped, clopped on the stone pass and sparked fire underneath their hooves.

One of them caught me. The curls on their back shone like dry grass and I could smell the smoke burning some where. He lifted me on his shoulder and ran. He carried me behind a rock and caressed on my inflated body part. He carefully applied some liquid on my nipple with his tongue. I started feeling better and felt warm underneath my skin. Some sap spouted out from my tits. The shadows of the rocks grew dim and the tribe left finding me nowhere.

The horses came galloping under the shade of the mountains. I could hear their trotting sound. I embraced him in the coldness and darkness of the cave and the horses suddenly leap on us. I watched the horses. The horses that came from the gigantic volcanic mountains stabbed me with their spear made of burning red lava. The molten rock perforated my bloated body part. I could not bear the sever pain. We tried to defend against the huge beast by thrusting sharp stones and braches at it. I was touched by the animal’s death pain. He became furious at me for this and scratched and tore apart my lower portion. My shriek shook the forest. The little soft creature that came out of my torn body also screeched and the area reeked unpleasantly.

He let go off me. Did he want to snatch the freshly born creature form me and drift it off in the ocean? He watched the creature soft like clay in amazement. Then he examined me and himself. Suddenly he discovered a little red fruit stone inside the infant’s furry body. He made small clapping sounds and roared in wonder that echoed across the forest. I knew this was a signal to gather his friends.

I wanted to race but screamed in pain. I cried for the child I gave birth. They all come back. They snatch my child from me. My wail echoed against the mountains and steps of stones. Abruptly it grew very dark. I could smell the salty ocean and fish. The huge trunks of elephants came falling on me from the ocean. The far away smoky mountains also seem to fall upon me. The cloudy bears came storming at me. The beasts with horns and horses came racing through the stony pass…clip, clop…clip, clop…clip, clop.

When I woke up it was bright everywhere. A fire was made near by with dried leaves and twigs. Every one around had stones that sparkled red light like flies and I could hear a roaring sound of a gigantic beast coming down from the mountains. I was surprised to see them still taking turn to carry my baby. They did not drift it in the sea. They were all comparing its red ball with their dark fish like lump dangling in the lower part of their body. Their sharp teeth gleamed through their thick lips in happiness. They danced around the baby in happiness. I understood they would not sacrifice my baby to the god of sea or volcano. They discovered something new in this child that made them happy and gained them confidence. Then did they arrange the fire to sacrifice me? I had goose bump in fear. I could feel fear in my torn and bleeding body. They burst out laughing as they kept scrutinizing the hanging testicle between their thighs. I could see their lumps erected like the sharp branches of trees that shed off bark. Some of them roared in happiness and came rushing towards me seeing me awake. My furs rose in alertness. The nerves on my tired eyes became intense. I kept running with all my might not knowing whether I was running towards the sea, the forest or the stony pass. I kept racing and speeding further.

They kept me in a cave. I could not run for long. I was too weak and bleeding a lot. The inner parts of my body were coming out. I slapped them in with my hand and rolled on the stony path. But I was surprised that they did not jump on me like a horse like before or push me down the cliff to the mountain god or burn my hair to kindle the fire. They brought me back on their shoulder.

I was much better now. A lot of leaves and vines were tied around me. The bleeding stopped and clotted. It was dark in the cave but I saw others like me. Some of them still had very bloated bodies and other had little infants in their laps. I looked for mine and heard it cry beside me in the dark. When I bent towards it, the infant easily found my tits and kept sucking. I felt as if all my pains were gone and sleep engulfed me.

We came out of the caves. We were now visibly two distinct groups. We who lived in the caved understood that we could produce little ones like us and take care of them which they can not. Now they did not tear us apart and kill us like they did previously thinking we were ominous creatures and rather took care of us now. They were also giving us away our infants. Because we take of the young ones we could not run about with them in search of food in the forest or the sea. On the other hand we skinned their hunted animals, made the fire, looked for water and seeds, cleaned the caves and kept it cozy. They also cared for us for what we did for them and they divided us amongst them. They made it clear to us that it was for them we could give birth. We kept on giving birth. They often snatch upon each others possession. They jumped on us like wild horses and perforated their hooves until they impregnate us with a child. We gave birth to two kinds of creatures—some like them and some like us. When the children who resembled them grew a little old they would take them away with them. We strung stone or bone spears in vine garlands, polished on rocks and hung them on their neck. On their first day of hunting, we all drew pictures of huge animals on rocks in open places with sharp stone weapons together. In the drawings we also pierced arrows in their eye, ear or navel. They wear their spears and circles around the picture. We tied wreathes made of flowers and fruits around their head. We pierced the skin of our own ribs and smeared their spears in blood so that they can hunt big animals with it. We also cut our feet to smudge their feet with our blood so that both our power can combine to chase animals. Now we understood they were much stronger than us. We wanted them to be stronger with our combined effort.

They really became stronger. Their muscles grew stronger and roared like the tree trunks. With their strength their intelligence also sharpened. They became more intelligent than their antecedents. The youngsters could not only kill wild animals but also caught them alive. They tied the animals with vines in the forest or kept them in underground cells and slaughtered them later. We celebrated on the day when these caught animals were slaughtered. We made fire and danced around it.

One when we slaughtered an animal a similar small creature like that came out of its body. They became so happy that day that they danced lifting us on their shoulder. We also danced with our children on our shoulder. Then we were divided into several smaller groups. The strong ones, we and our children were divided to all the groups. The meat and the live animals belonged to the strong ones. We had the fruits, seeds, roots and fish with us. We searched for a place to keep all our belongings and spend the night near a place where there was both water and fire. We found two kinds of living animals. One of the kinds could give birth like us. Their belly also grew big like and their tits dropped to the ground and emit sweet sap. The other kind had none of these. They had strong hooves, horns teeth and sharp tongue. They were strong like our strong ones. They stamped violently and sparked fire under their hooves. They have strong neck but our strong ones were not scared of them. They discovered many techniques to catch these animals. They whipped them up with thorny vines, do not feed the animals for days and burnt their fur. They pierced their nostrils and tied their heads wild vines to trees. Our strong ones rode on them and yelled in happiness. They had thorny sticks on their hands. The animals sped in fear. They burst out laughing as they rode on the animals. Their laughter echoed through the dusty winds. An avalanche took place and stones started rolling down and kindled sparks. They ran onward and went beyond our sight. We became worried if they were lost in the sea, forest or the mountain. We waited eagerly to hear the roar of the wild beasts and the triumph of our strong ones but we heard nothing. We assumed that the wild animals probably furiously pushed our strong ones from the mountain cliffs. Meanwhile we had lost our strength by looking after young ones and animals and had no stamina or enthusiasm to hunt animals or look for food in the forest. Most of the time, we prepared food and made the living space comfortable for every one in the clan even if we were heavy in pregnancy. We became worried who would do our heavy work if the strong ones did not return.

Fortunately the strong ones surprised us before night fall. Our strong ones returned. They were riding on the wild animals and laughed out loud habitually. They still had the green wreathes made of vine, flowers and fruits. One of them hung a dead animal on his shoulder. His entire face, hands and chest was painted in blood with arrows, three myrobalans and spears. We were taken aback to see the animals tamed not running wild like before. They were coming straight in great speed. They steered the animals in the right direction with their thorny whips and vine reigns. They were able to stop the animals too. Everyone got down from the animals and knelt down in respect before the man with painted spears. We did the same. That strong one was the clan leader. We prepared the best food and comfort for the chief and other strong victors. The strong ones inserted stones inside the animal’s hooves so that made sharp trotting sounds through the mountain pass. They wanted to spread the clip clop sound wide and far to other tribes across the horizon.

The horses of the leader of the strong ones galloped. The trotting sound of the horses echoed through the horizons. We watched them galloping. Our younger strong ones leaped in happiness too. Out little strong ones each grew up as strong chiefs. We kept on watching the horses.

“What are you watching?”

“I watch the horses.”

“What do you see?”

“Horses…”

– Translated by Masrufa Ayesha Nusrat

 

 

 

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